Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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