Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
