my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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