____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
