That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
