i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
