but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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