just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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