i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
