It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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