You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
