okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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