You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
