I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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