Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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