I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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