O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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