sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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