maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
