Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
