Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
