If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
