i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
