oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
