a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
