she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
