had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
