Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
bring money and cleavage
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
