and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
