Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
