Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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