You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
