and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
