just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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