DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
