If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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