garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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