I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish i was in the wii world.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
