Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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