i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I wear drunk well.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
