The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
