Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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