im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
