Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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