i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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