I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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