I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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