SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
