was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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