Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
