and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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