Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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